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| Mitt Romney, seen here after bringing hell down upon the witches in Keene, NH. |
While the Other Candidates Continue to Campaign, Romney and Huntsman Join Forces to Defeat Evil
Almost everyone is aware of Republican Presidential Candidate Jon Huntsman's tendency to fight the creatures of the night. Lulzington Post has received word, however, that fellow candidate Mitt Romney has joined forces with Huntsman to defeat what they have called "the forces of evil" in NH, which they say are "ever so prevalent".
"We never understood why Huntsman chose to spend all of his time in NH," a Romney aide said. "After visiting, however, it is clear that there is evil at work here that must be taken care of." As evidenced by their recent lack of appearance at the family forum, Romney and Huntsman have been hard at work bringing blight to those who would harm humanity.
Romney, a new addition to Huntsman's party, has been called the "Witch-Hunter" for his prowess at finding those who practice the evil arts.
"We don't discriminate," Huntsman said as he drove a wooden stake into a vampire's heart. "He hunts Warlocks as well."
Other members of the party include Pious, the Mage, as well as Tyronne the Warrior. Each of the classes, according to Hunstman, has a specific role in his party. "You can't fight evil magic without good magic. Tyronne is just the typical tank who can take a lot of damage."
The first notable figure to be accused of witchcraft was actually the Mormon friends' unified enemy in the form of a fellow candidate, Congressman Ron Paul.
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| Congressman Paul the White charging into battle. |
Romney claims that Paul is a powerful warlock with the ability to use the hope of others to remain young.
"He's dangerous," Romney said angrily. "We think that he is building an army in Iowa like the world has never seen." (This was , of course, likely in retaliation for Paul's soaring poll numbers in Iowa.)
Paul's campaign did not immediately reply to our requests to comment.
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