Herman Cain Discusses the Rebellion in Narnia

Although Cain frequents Narnia, he doesn't necessarily support the freedom fighters there.

Cain might not have defended Narnia; Paul says that Narnia "doesn't exist".
Last night, Republican candidate Herman Cain sat down with Lulzington Post to discuss where his administration would be concerning President Obama's foreign policy decisions concerning the nation of Narnia. Needless to say, the results were surprising:

Cain was clear in his ambiguity. This leads us to postulate one conclusion: if Herman Cain was President, there is a very good change that Narnia would still be in the hands of the White Witch. By refusing to admit if Obama's support of Aslan's forces was proper, Cain has positioned himself in a tentative position.

Other Republican frontrunners, including Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, came out chiding Cain for his "irresponsible" remarks.

"Cain has clearly shown that he has no sense of good and evil," said Newt. "But I think he did an excellent job of answering an otherwise ridiculous question. He still would do a better job than Obama at defending the rights of Narnians."

While Cain and the other Republican candidates argue about who would have done more (or less) than Obama for Narnia, Ron Paul remains a striking contrast insisting that Narnia, in fact, does not exist.

Aslan, the leader of Narnia's Rebellion. Does he look "fake" to you?

"Narnia is a fictional land created by a talented author. The fact that we are even entertaining the idea that it is real, or that Obama did anything with it, is madness," says Paul, who was having trouble not laughing. "Please tell me that this is a joke?"

While Paul may consider supporting Narnia a joke, most GOP primary voters do not. A recent Gallup poll shows "Support For Narnia" at 37% in the most important topic for the upcoming presidential election.

Paul, nearly ignored by the media, has recently been allowed the designation of "top tier" with his rivals. Meanwhile, second-tier candidate Jon Huntsman has returned to NH to continue his vampire hunting.