What stole the thunder last night, however, was no a candidate, or even an idea: it was the number 9.
This is not at all surprising given that the new GOP God Hermain Cain's economic policy itself contains not one, but three mentions of this amazing number, and that plan was repeated by both Cain and his competitors several times over.
The number 9 has for a long time sat in the shadows as nearly insignificant, especially considering when some numbers, like 7, are known to many as "the Lord's number". (This is, in fact, a lie, as the Lord has stated that he loves all numbers equally, except 6, which he deems "inadequate.") In fact, for a very long time it was believed, in ignorance, that seven ate nine.
But not last night. Last night, 9 stood as a resounding victor in Dartmouth, and it had one commentator worked up.
"I didn't realize how much I loved the number 9 before tonight," said John Foreskin of New Hampshire. "I mean, I knew that I wanted something different, but the number 9 just makes so much sense when it's spoken so well and so frequently. I mean, come on. It's 9-9-9."
Another woman was excited at the prospects of this number based on a more close-to-home reference:
"My son turned 9 on September 9th, '99", she said happily. "Cain's economic plan really speaks to me. It must be fate."
Cain you feel it? That's Cain's energy level. It's over 9000.
Trying to rain a parade on the number 9 was Congressman Ron Paul, who called the Hermanator out on several topics including his previous job as a Federal Reserve Chairman and his belief that the Fed does not need to be audited. He also made Cain seem foolish in selecting Alan Greenspan as one of the best Federal Reserve Chairmen.
In reply, Cain had this to say: "9-9-9".
Representatives for the number 9 had no immediate comment except to reiterate that it has never been eaten by 7.
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