DEVELOPING: Jon Huntsman to Stop Vampire Hunting in NH and Focus On Campaign

You're nothing to him but another dead vampire

Nashua, NH -- Reports have come in from our reporters in New Hampshire that Jon Huntsman is going to end his vampire hunting in northwestern New Hampshire and return to the campaign trail. This comes off of the heels of several reports which claimed that Huntsman had nearly hunted the vampire species to extinction.

"He's painfully good at what he does," says resident William Cuttingham. "We haven't had any vampire attacks in weeks since he started hunting here."

Many have wondered why Huntsman, who has very little support, even in New Hampshire, continues to remain ONLY in New Hampshire rather than broaden his base. He may now finally have that opportunity.

"Now that his job is done, he can move on," says his campaign manager, who was putting some weapons away in the back of his truck. "There are vampires elsewhere to be fought."

Huntsman currently garners around 2% of the vote for the Republican nomination, a low number that he blames on the "vampire population" around the country.

Stay tuned for future developments of Huntsman's next destination.

Dual-wielding is enabled by default in the Huntsman campaign.

A note to our vampire readers: you will know as soon as we know.