Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Herman Cain's Third Accuser Revealed to be Rick Perry




As if Herman Cain's troubles weren't enough already with three currently anonymous women accusing him of sexual harassment in his time as chairman of the Restaurant Association, one of the accusations may prove to be his downfall. Fellow Republican contender to the presidency and Texas Governor Rick Perry has accused Cain of sexual harassment in 1994, marking the first of the three accusers to come out of anonymity.

"I didn't tell anyone right away because I was scared," Perry said in an interview. "I didn't want him to hurt me again like he did before. But now, I am confident that I am safe enough through being in the public eye that he can never do those things to me again."

Perry has accused Cain of being overtly sexual to him in 1994, including gestures such as, to quote Perry, "humpin' the air like a God damn dog on heat" and feigned fellatio. It also included licking his lips, calling Perry a "slice of white with ricotta", and repeated shouts of "lick my nine, nine, nine!"  

We asked Cain to comment, and a representative was quick to send this release:

"Mr. Cain has never sexually harassed anyone besides Rick Perry. Rick Perry deserved the harassment and Mr. Cain asked him to dinner afterwards to make up for being so forward. If Rick Perry didn't want to be harassed he shouldn't dress so sexually."

"I hope that me having the courage to speak out will encourage more women, and men, who were harassed by Cain to come forward so that this monster gets put away like he should be," Perry added forcefully after taking a swig from a flask in his jacket.

We asked Perry if he believes he deserved to be harassed in such a way, at which point Perry began weeping and said that he doesn't think "anyone deserves that."

Time will tell whether or not this will help or hurt either Perry or Cain's campaign.

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