Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hermain Cain Questioning the Integrity of Ron Paul's Eyebrows

"Honkey ain't understand that no eyebrows is the way to go."

Amid all of the political discussions occurring this week, talking of the Federal Reserve and how to fix our economy, one political discussion trumps everything else: the integrity of Ron Paul's eyebrows at the Tuesday night debate.

Hermain Cain was the first candidate to begin lobbing shots. Cain, a former Godfather Pizza CEO, explained happily: "This is why I don't have eyebrows. They are nothing but trouble and can make you seem like there is something wrong with you. Dr. Paul, I have a message for you: Wax-Wax-Wax." Other media outlets soon picked up on Paul's eyebrow's disappearing act.

Cain used this to, for the first time in Dr. Paul's consistent history, question his integrity. 

"How can we trust Dr. Paul's integrity when we can't trust the integrity of his eyebrows? You can tell alot about a man by his eyebrows. For example: my lack of them directly correlates to my ability to balance a spoon on my nose. Perfectly."

Rick "The Dick" Santorum, another candidate opposing Dr. Paul, had this to say about the strange occurence: "Yeah, I'm not sure what was going on with that. Shit looked like it was crawling off his face. Must have been made in China. He's clearly not presidential material."

Based on Google records, Ron Paul's eyebrow has received more media attention than Paul himself following the debate, prompting calls of media bias to which the Media has generally refused to comment, except for Fox News, who merely stated: "I guess Ron Paul decided to do it live."
Ron's eyebrow distracted Cain while he delivered him a verbal ass whooping.

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