Ghaddafi's Secret Crush: Republican Herman Cain

Ghaddafi's "Mating Stare", which he claimed could woo any human.

Moammar Ghaddafi's brutal regime in Libya ended this week, with his government succumbing to the rebellion which had lasted months, supported by NATO airstrikes. But what has been making the news more than the end of his political regime are some of the secrets stumbled upon in his now vacant palace: namely, a binder full of images of  Republican Presidential Candidate Herman Cain.

Cain, a former CEO of Godfather Pizza and Chairman of a state Federal Reserve, is on every page of this expansive binder, with some images actually repeating. Written in Arabic on a few of the images were varying Libyan innuendos and sexual comments, including "So Tasty", "Milk Chocolate" and, morbidly, "He can drop bombs on me any time."

 Ghaddafi made headlines several weeks ago when his palace was first captured and it was revealed that the mad dog of the Middle East had a secret crush on Condoleezza Rice. Experts on the ground, however, have made it clear that this was actually just a cover up for his secret crush on Cain.

"I think it is pretty evident that Ghaddafi had these feelings for Cain and was trying to cover them up with what he would deem more 'legitimate' feelings towards Rice," said Abdul Messina, a psychologist from Libya. "Nobody in their right mind, with as much power as Ghaddafi, would actually find Mrs. Rice beautiful. I mean that with all due respect, of course. Mr. Cain, however, exudes confidence, and that is an attractive quality."

Cain's Response: "I wish I had known before his death. I would have sent him flowers."

The Cain campaign has been quick to downplay this, stating: "It is merely because of Mr. Cain's painful good looks, rather than his policies, that caused Mr. Ghaddafi to fall for him. Mr. Cain does not support such a brutal regime, although he does support his taste in men."

Ghaddafi's binder, titled "My Little Sugar-Cain", is currently still in the former presidential palace, to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Currently, Cain's fellow candidate Rick Perry has bid the highest, stating that "It will bring him one step closer to mating Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich to make the perfect running mate."